Monday, May 26, 2008

A weekend with my redecorating, Slurpee sucking evil twin

So, Friday The Hubs was in such a good mood (and tired of me asking "do you like these lamps?") that he said, "Lulu, I am in such a good mood, I'd even go look at lamps." Well sheeeee-it. That's like saying, "Let's go jewelry shopping" in my book. So, I ate my dinner as fast as could be and headed to Home Goods with The Hubs in tow before she could change his mind.

Since i hit the local Home Goods that day, I decided to go to the one two towns over. We found a great lamp on clearance that The Hubs approved of and I knew the twin to it was back in Stamford because I saw it a mere two hours earlier. So, we bought the lamp and headed back to Stamford where we went straight to the lamp department. I looked all over but it was gone. In the two hours I wasn't even thinking about it, someone scooped it up. The same lamp I wanted. I hoped with every ounce of evil in me that that whoever bought it had the same idea and now they were headed to Norwalk to buy the twin which I had in my trunk.

With my plan foiled, I showed The Hubs a set of lamps I have been eyeing since I started looking at lamps weeks ago. To my surprise he actually liked them despite the fact the shades were red and we officially had NOTHING red left in the room. But, perhaps this was the splash of color we needed against an otherwise black and white canvas. So, The Hubs went to the car to get the lamp so we could return it and buy the new ones. When we got them home, we were shocked at how perfect they were.

Don't get me wrong, though, The price is still on them just in case I find something even more perfect. Now, I want to paint in there but when I mention that to The Hubs he looks like someone painted him ghost white.

On Sunday, we finally made it to Ikea to get my new desk. We attempted to go last week but got sidetracked by Pepe's clam pizza and Slurpee's after which we got big belly lazy and headed home. I figured since we were going to be a few minutes from New Haven anyway for a picnic we may as well save the gas and go then. After seeing the desk in person and measuring it to see if it would fit my monitor we decided to get it and made the long trek to furniture pick up. By then, my blood sugar was plummeting so I was rushing to get this over so I could find something to help me stop shaking. The bin where they said the boxes would be was empty but 3 shelves up I could see whole new shipment. I asked The Hubs if he would go find someone to help up and I went to go find a pretzel and a diet coke. I knew when I saw The Hubs walking towards me with an empty cart it was a bad sign. He said we would have to come back tomorrow because they restock only at night when the store closes.

Oh, helllllllllll no.

That is when The Hubs said I became manic but in my mind i was just reacting like . . . well . . . my mom. Just because someone says (rather loudly) that that is bullshit doesn't mean they're manic.

I went over to the service desk and pretended like I didn't just hear what was told to me. I asked (yes, nicely) if he could help me get it down. He said if it was more than 3 shelves up we had to wait until 8:15. I asked, "does the floor count as one." Sure, enough it did. I told the guy that I was from Stamford and not really feeling all that well. With gas being priced so high i didn't want to have to drive back to New Haven tomorrow. He paused for a second like he actually wanted to help me. He punched some stuff into the computer and waisted before smugly smiling at The Hubs, with a simple look that said it all, "Don't send a man to do a womyn's job." The service guy told me that the desk was completely out of stock in the black and white color we wanted and what we saw on the above shelf was a different piece all together. Normally, I would think he was lying but I went over there and compared the numbers myself. They didn't match. However, they had the desk I wanted in birch which was fine with me but suddenly, my Husband, whose PS3 name is RawStewage, put his two cents of decorating in vetoing the idea of a birch desk.

A desk he won't even be using.

A desk that I, out of my personal account, am paying for.

A desk I need to get for MY job.

In my low blood sugar state, he marched me back through IKEA (and you know how that f-ing store is set up. You have to go through the WHOLE store) back to the desks so he can see the birch desk. And the kicker was I knew he was more than likely thinking the birch was that super unfinished wood they have where you can see the knots. And I was right because as soon as we saw it, he was like, "Oh, I thought it was something else."

Then, we marched ALLLLL THE WAYYYYY BACK to the furniture pick up to get it. And it was the last one, bitches. So, we paid and packed up the car but not before Stew could write "IKEA SUCKS" all over a tape measure and leave it in their parking lot and I could angrily throw down an empty plastic bottle. Hooligans. That's some RawStewage for ya, bitches! Oh and I sang the IKEA sucks jingle loudly as I put back my cart. Manic. Ha!

Then, we deiced to stop in Fairfield for a Slurpee. Now, I have become a bit if a Slurpee junky lately. But, not the real sugary Slurpees. These are only sold at 7-11 and made with Crystal Light. Sugar free and only 5 calories an ounce. But, I do get a 40 oz one. Whoops.

Anyway, The Hubs and I always joke about how terrible it would be after going there (yes, because sometimes we drive all the way from Stamford) the machine was broken or they were out. How much that would suck and i would cry. We pulled into the lot and being Memorial Day weekend, there were tons of cars in the parking lot stocking up on snacks and drinks for the long car rides back to wherever. I parked next to this lady getting into her car happily Slurpee sipping. I had a REAL bad feeling. It was so bad and so intense I totally forgot to turn off my car before getting out and grabbing my purse. The Hubs must have had a bad feeling too because he rushed into the 7-11. I went back an turned off my car and grabbed my keys.

I walked in and saw Stew around the magazines he was pretty nervous. "The light is on" he said placing both of his hands on my arm in case I started flailing about. The light being on means two things. It's either broken or it's making more Slurpee. I just know it means you can't use it while the light is on. I asked one of the workers how long it takes to make more Slurpee. They guy said 10 minutes to half an hour. So, I paced the store waiting. I knew that lady had the last of my Slurpee. I should have chase her in my car. I bet she had my desk too. Evil twin.

Finally, the light went off and I filled up two 40 oz cups (I don't drink them all right away, I put them in small ramekin dishes and they turn into Italian ice in the freezer) and went in for a third cup when the machine just started spitting out flat red syrup, Ugh! So, I waited a bit longer before filling up the third cup. However, because they weren't as fizzy as a full term Slurpee when I froze them, they expanded out of the ramekins and got sticky red syrup everywhere in my freezer.

I hope my evil twin was just holidaying near me this weekend and goes away soon. I can't take much more of this.

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