It all started with . . .

I've been meaning to write this for a while.

So, I LOVE my new bed but it's ruining my marriage . . . . or saving it. I can't quite tell yet. Maybe as a result of what happened after the bed was delivered The Hubs has finally confirmed his fears that I am batshit crazy. Or, it cemented something in his head that instantly attracted him to me on our first date. That I am one quirky broad who likes very specific things and finds great entertainment in searching for the perfect things.

After the bed arrived, we decided we needed a new comforter. The down one I got many years ago on super cheap sale was starting to lose its fluff and was virtually lost inside the duvet cover. I found my old queen fluffy down alternative comforter in a closet and we decided we should use that. Of course, I made us spend a night under it to make sure a queen size comforter would do. I do a weird thing where i wind myself up in the comforter which in turn ends up robbing The Hubs of about three feet of comforter. After a night we thought it would do and now I had to get a queen size duvet cover. I misplaced my old one like a ginormous doofus.

Anyway, I spent some time looking online for ones I liked in stores I had coupons for. I had one requirement. It had to be 100% cotton and cotton percale is NOT cotton. The Hubs had one requirement (at least only one that he let on while I was in the preliminary stages of looking). It could not have a texture because he doesn't like to feel it on his face. But I'm the quirky one. Whatever ***pfffffttt****

I found one I liked in Macy's but it was $300 (F-U Martha Stewart) and I could not justify spending that on a duvet cover. If I ever got tired of it (which I often do) I would feel guilty changing it out for a $39.99 one I fell in love with at Home Goods. I also saw one I liked at Bed Bath and Beyond so I grabbed my coupons and off we went. After prying open the package as much as I could (they clip the zippers to the duvet bags) so I could feel, I approved of the softness. Meanwhile, the Hube went around touching all the other ones for softness. Then, I noticed that this one, the one I came to the store to buy, has a satin ribbon trim. I knew this feature would annoy me (and it was green, something I was NOT thrilled with) when I wound myself up in it. The thought of this satin ribbon jabbing me in the eye actually sent a shiver down my spine. I put it back and continued to look. I found another one I liked a lot but it had texture so I didn't even bother to show The Hubs.

Then, I saw one that I was drawn to for its simplicity. However, that was the same thing that also made me not too crazy about it. It was just plain white with a simple box of what looked like figure eights in a square in the center of the duvet. They had white with red/dark brown/silver or goldish neutral tann-ish. I was drawn to the red but nothing in my room was really red except for some knobs on a dresser. I liked the duvet but I wasn't sold on it and frankly, neither was The Hubs, but I think he was just really hedging to get out of B,B&B. I said I wanted to think about it and started making my way to the exit when I got sidetracked by the clearance aisle. I found these awesome red curtains. They were the same red in the duvet cover so I bought two panels and the duvet cover. With my coupon and the fact they were on clearance, they were $7.50. SCORE.

We came home and put the duvet cover on. I wasn't blown away. The curtains looked pretty garish but I thought it was because I had blue and white curtains there before that it was just taking me a while to get used to the shocking red. The following day I went to Home Goods and got funky red sheets and new lamps (which I kept the tags on just in case). My room looked like a Gothic porn set. Something was still off. I kept asking The Hubs, "what's off? Something is off." And all he would say is, "You're onto something but I don't know what." I don't think he was crazy about anything in there (except the lamps) but he was afraid to say anything else because that might result in another trip to the mall or Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Maybe it was the picture that hung over my bed. There was too much green in it and with the red it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas on the gothic porn set. I tried other pictures but none seemed to work. I returned to Home Goods the following day for the third time in three days. I picked up two wrought iron pieces to try and waited for The Hubs to come home so he could hold them up for me. I immediately decided on the second one much to my own chagrin because it weighed at least 40 lbs and would surely take down my wall and crush my skull while I slept. The following day i returned the other iron piece to Home Goods. I am sure by that point I made their bad list.

On Saturday, my dad came over with special screws to hang the iron thing over the bed so it would not kill us. My mom's face gave me an immediate read on what she liked (nothing) or didn't like (everything) about the bedroom. After my dad hung the iron work up and we pushed the bed back and made it for her she admitted it wasn't that bad. But, she agreed the curtains had to go. So, after my folks left The Hubs took the curtains down and I repacked them to take them back. Since I only got the duvet cover to match the curtains that meant the end of the duvet cover too. I labored over repacking that thing but wouldn't you know, B,B& B didn't even look at it.

I spent all day Sunday looking at over 3,000 duvet covers online. And out of 3,000 I liked 6 and then narrowed those down to 4. I finally ordered one but not after peppering the company with questions. Today the replacement curtains came and they've softened the place considerably. Once the new duvet cover comes I can get a firmer grasp on the lamps. And then maybe I'll take the price off.