So, last night I had another whacked dream and I'm working on trying to figure it out but there seems to be too much stuff going on in it. Maybe you can help. You being anyone who actually reads this. Or, you being Tracy who is the only other person I know who has dreams as batshit crazy and nonsensical and doomsday-ish as I do.
I came home from work. Home was still my house but apparently my parents and my sister were still living at our old house. My sister and her family were living in the in-law apartment I used to live in while my folks had the upstairs. My sister still lived at their other house, but fro some reason they stayed in the old in-law apartment a few days a week because it was closer to my brother-in-law's job.
Anyway, my mom asked me to go over there and when I got there, she broke the news to me that my mom, dad, aunt, uncle, sister, bro-in-law and nephews were going camping and they wanted me to house-sit while they were gone. I was pissed because I really wanted to stay at my own house and it didn't even occur tome to get mad that i wasn't invited camping yet. Then, again, anyone who knows me knows my idea of roughing it is staying at a two star hotel.
My sister had a cat and a dog and she was rushing about packing and not showing me the important things like where she kept the pet food and who to call in case a pet sick or something. I'm in the kitchen trying to find this stuff out on my own when suddenly her stove (which BTW, is the most gorgeous copper stove I have ever seen) suddenly goes on. One burner starts shooting flames, then the other burner and then the whole inside of the oven is on and shooting flames. I start trying to turn the burners off but they were already off. I start screaming for my sister who pulls the plug on the oven and flicks a switch on the wall and the stove goes out. She says to me, "the cucumber storms must be coming." And I said, "oh, shit, not the cucumber storms. I want to be in my own house when the cucumber storms hit." As if i was all too familiar with the cucumber storms being a natural springtime occurrence. And as a side note. The cucumber storms have NOTHING to do with cucumbers. It was just a severe rain/thunder/lightning storm dubbed the cucumber storms which makes all the sense in the world to me in my dream.
Now, I start to get mad that I have to be away from my house during a cucumber storm while my entire family EXCEPT me goes camping. I'm about to lay into my mom about this when I see this tiny furry bird with a tail like a squirrel start hopping about the table in front of me. I start screaming like banshee ready to kill it when my sister starts screaming for me not to hurt it because it's their pet something (it had a funny name in the dream that I can't remember). Again, anyone who knows me knows I don't like birds and I don't like tiny things that walk on all fours whose nails I can hear clacking because it makes my hair stand on end. i start wigging out and screaming that I am really mad my whole family is going camping without me and leaving me to house-sit during a cucumber storm with all these animals like it's freaking Noah's Ark in a house that has a stove that spontaneously combusts. Do they understand that for the next few nights I won't get ANY sleep because I have to constantly check the stove to make sure it's not on fire and I don't burn alive.
I asked my mom how come I couldn't go camping and she said because I was just one person I would make it an uneven number of people. I reminded my mom that I am married now, a fact that seemed to escape both of us until that moment and speaking of, where was The Hubs during my dream? I thought that AFTER I got married all those weird dreams about marriage would stop but they haven't. I used to have all these dreams where I was either getting married or was married and I would NEVER see the groom or my husband or i would end up dying or getting trapped in the bathroom on my wedding day.
I went into the bathroom to sulk but was set off again when I saw the bathroom was FILTHY and the toilet was so high it came up to my shoulder. I had to pee so I bit the bullet and climbed up and sat down but it was hard to concentrate on peeing while trying not to lose my balance. And my ass was directly at window height so I am sure my aunt and uncle who were playing with the kids in the driveway could see my pasty white ass on the throne.
My parents walked back into the house where I was setting in the bedroom and crying. They were just about to say something to me (probably, "hey, don't forget to take in the mail") when The Hubs woke me up for work. I told him all about the dream and he agreed it was weird but told me that i stalled enough and had to get up now.