Thursday, December 07, 2006

So what if I dream the future and it's slightly off?

One morning I woke up pissed at Stew.

We didn't have a fight.

He didn't keep me up snoring/coughing/stirring around/stealing the covers.

He did nothing at all.

However, in my dream, he was very bad. He was the gigantic asshole that I waited for him to become our entire courtship but the giant asshole never surfaced. Lucky for him. But in my dream, wowie, the boy was pure evil.

It started out nice. Stew and I were dating and living together. Everything was good. The planets were aligned and in my favor. Then came our anniversary. See, Stew, the once party boy who was the life of any party he was invited to, has been, as he likes to put it, RUINED. Our anniversary falls on December 30. So, being that the next day is New years Eve, we usually do something cool that combines our anniversary and NYE. This is how we came to go to Philly last New Year's and Stew was in bed with me seconds after the ball dropped instead of being at some raging party probably passed out in the corner.

So, either way, he would have been asleep.

Back to my dream.

In my dream, Stew told me that he had to spend our Anniversary/NYE weekend with his other girlfriend, Hannah. Hannah was some tall, leggy Irish lass with long flame red hair. See, I harbor some secret fear that Stew is going to leave me some day for an Irish girl who drinks and parties and thinks books are something she can lay out like a makeshift dancefloor and dance a jig on. He told me his plans included taking Hannah to a Yankees game on NYE. Oh yeah, did I mention that Hannah, the anti-Lisa also loved baseball? I'm not sure what knotted me up more in the dream - that Stew was blowing me off for another girl or that he was blowing me off on our anniversary/NYE weekend. I don't remember much more of the dream but I remember waking up FUMING at Stew.

He was clueless as to why I was a rage-a-hol so I clued him in and he laughed and now it's a joke (to him). If he gets texted or is texting someone and I ask who it is, he says "Hannah." I hate the name. I can add it to my list of Heather and Dawn. I hate the name so much that i was torn when buying our favorite Costco item - Hannah's tatziki sauce. My boyfriend ain't going to be eating another womyn's sauce. Especially a tall leggy red headed Irish girl who now makes Greek delights. Oh hells to the no!

So, for the past few weeks Stew has been holding some surprise over my head. He had 4 possible days on the calendar when said surprise would happen but now it's narrowed down to Dec. 30th. I tried guessing it and tricking him into telling me but all my attempts were worthless.

This morning I wake up and check my email. There was an email from stew asking me if i wanted to go to a Ranger's game on New year's Eve. Apparently, some guy he worked with got an extra ticket and asked Stew but Stew didn't want to leave me alone on NYE unless maybe he could score another ticket and I could go.

Wow, it was like my dream except, unfortunately for Stew, Hannah was this angry racist guy that stew works with and not a tall, leggy red headed Irish lass. Hah! I was so overcome with joy that at last he wasn't dissing me for another broad that I almost said he could go without me. But I thought better of it and said i would only go "if they found a ticket" and "it wouldn't be my first choice of something to do on NYE is go to NYC when it is next to IMPOSSIBLE to catch a cab and encounter all the masses of drunk idiots being more idiotic because it's NYC and it's NYE." Hey, i just wanted to get my point across.

But about an hour later, I got an email from Stew telling me I was spared. The game was actually on Dec. 30th and we couldn't go because of my surprise.

Of course I had to ask if the game was really my surprise.

It's not. So I still don't know. Damn.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

too funny.
I can't wait to hear what the surprise is.