Wake up and smell the coffee

After having the scariest ice coffee ever. Seriously, i broke two straws trying to get through all the ice I decided to write Dunkin Donuts and revolutionize their business.

To the wonderful people at Dunkin who keep me caffeinated all day,

You make the best coffee. Hands down. Starbucks are chumps with their overpriced lattes and calorie filled drinks. When it comes to choosing between green and pink and orange, I always choose Dunkin.

On my last Dunkin visit, I was able to enlighten some customers to some wisdom that is not common knowledge. However, I know from writing you in the past, that all your delicious flavor shots are sugar free. For some reason, that fact is advertised only on your site and not in the shops. When I filled these customers in on that bit of INVALUABLE information they were elated and quickly added shots to their drinks. Their only question was how come you don’t say that in the store? A lot of your employees may not be aware of this or customers may not believe them but if it were posted somewhere, they could not dispute that.

My only guess for why it’s not posted in the store is that you may be apprehensive about people thinking it has an aftertaste or has some cancer-causing additive in it. Believe me, if fake sweeteners really caused cancer I would be dead. If you are going to offer “healthier” drinks like lite lattes and such then go ahead and tell your customers that the syrup they crave contains no sugar.

Another thought for you is to bring all your workers up to code on making a consistent cup of coffee. Sometimes, I’ll ask for a coffee with milk or cream and they put so much cream in that it tastes like I am drinking straight up cream. Or, I will ask for an iced coffee and get a few chips of ice that melt quickly or an iceberg in my cup so big I can’t get the straw in without it getting obstructed and crushed the like Titanic. This resulted in about 4 sips of coffee fitting into a medium cup but enough ice for at least two and a half drinks. I rarely find a happy medium.

So, here is my idea and it is completely free. However, feel free to hook me up with a loaded gift card should you like my idea and use it. On your cups, you should have lines that tell your employees how much ice to add, how much milk/cream or sugar. Or, you can just have a standard 4 squirts for a medium, 6 for a large and then add one if the customer prefers it lighter.

You pride yourself on “authentic” iced coffee so why not make it consistently perfect? I depend on Dunkin to deliver a great tasting cup o’ Joe and more often than not that is what I get but the times when I get something different like 4 sips of coffee and a ton of ice or a mouth full of cream I’m disappointed. I know the Dunkins I can depend on in each town in New England. Sad but true.

I hope that you read this letter. I know it’s long but it comes from a very dedicated customer who wants the world to appreciate all that Dunkin has to offer.

Sincerely,
Dr. Horder