Thursday, September 20, 2007


Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most bitter of them all?

You are Beefer-ella, you are.

Damn skippy. Beyotch.

So. I got suckered into a responsibility at work because I lacked the common sense to share something with my co-workers. I mistakenly shared the fact that I have half a brain. Now I am being punished for it. I got roped into being the "go-to" person for the software we use. Being that there's 30 or so computers in the building that use this software, I don't get a moment's rest. It's my fault really. I mean, I can turn a computer off and on so I was an obvious mark to take on this thankless duty. I figured it would give me some kind of job security and then I realized with a state job, there is no such thing. It's all about tenure. Technically all i have to do is show up every day and try not to fuck up too much and so long as people come in after me, I will slowly move up the ladder. So, taking on the additional responsbilities is an exercise in futility. I used to do nice things until I saw that I was being taken advantage of. And by being taken advantage of, i mean people were asking me to fix their personal computer and software issues and asking me to email the helpdesk when they were perfectly capable of such duties.

I used to pop down to the mailroom and get the mail if I had nothing to do. I had another motive as I was always hoping there would be a check for me. Even if there wasn't, I would still bring all the mail up and distribute it. Now, i go down, sift through it and if there is no check for me, I leave it. I leave it even if there is a check for me.

So, yesterday I was ready to beef as soon as I got in. I tend to walk in at 9 to a desk full of bullshit notes. I wouldn't mind so much if a good chunk of these issues were not someone simply forgetting to turn on a switch or not knowing where the master volume on the computer is. Honestly, i don't know any more about computers than the next person but I am not afraid of pressing buttons to figure out what the issue is. I know that the way our techs have the computers set up, it's virtually impossible to change a setting so much that a good old fashion restart couldn't cure it. Our administrative duties on the computers are very limited.

Needless to say, it is virtually impossible for me to get any work done during my two fifteen minute breaks a day and one hour lunch. So, while the helpless are taking their lunches or smoking outside I am working. Constantly. I've taken to making up imaginary doctors appointments just so I have to leave the building for lunch. I used to sit at my desk and get some typing done but now I dread going back to the office because I know as soon as I walk through that door I am going to get inundated with BS. Like I said, I wouldn't mind if 95 percent of the issues didn't make me want to smack them on the forehead and say, "Uh-duh!"

The feeling of swimming in a pool of dopes continued after work. On may way home I happene dto get in front of a driver who was paying no attention whatsoever to the road. I only noticed this because he looked familiar and I thought he was one of my mom's friends' husband. I am not sure what he was doing. It appeared that he was reading a book, newspaper or trying to dial a cellphone but when I stopped at a red light, he would roll to a stop behind me. There was a lot of traffic so I had to wait at a light for more than two rounds before passing. Each time I moved up, he was digging into another chapter and would let a space the size ofa football field come between us before rolling slowly while reading. I kept looking at him in my rearview mirror. I could care less if i recognized him, his complete lack of attention while driving was pissing me off.


Of course.

A few seconds after thinking this. I watched the asshole slowly roll right into me. There was no damage. he was rolling so slowly, I knew he was just going to bounce off my spare tire anyway. But, he didn't even look phased except for a momentary look of guilt on his face and then he went right back into being a clueless ignoring-the-road asshole. I was going to get out but I was so pissed off all i would have done was yell at him and ended up in jail. However, i did take his license plate number down in case there was damage. I know it's harder to prove later but I figured if anything I would have my dad run his plates and crank call him at 3 a.m.

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