Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Ice-hole revenge
So, today on my way home, an Ice-hole stepped in front of my car causing me to stop, causing my light to change, causing me to wait. But, that is okay because only moments later, Ice-hole, walking in the road when the sidewalk next to him was perfectly clean, got splashed with a tidal wave of ice cold, dirty, black water. As he jumped back, albeit too late, I began to laugh my ass off because had he been on the sidewalk, his nice light brown cords would still be dry and light brown. He looked genuinely susprised as if the car, driving in the street where cars belong, splashed him. I mean, how could that be? Um, maybe cos you were walking in the road, Ice-hole.
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Ice-hole, that is THE perfect way to describe them. Here it is a week AFTER the storm....my lovely recruit and I were driving around aimlessly again this morning and at 530 am, we sat in the Cos Cob Firehouse (out in front) watching the same lady walk laps on East Putnam ave/Rt 1/Strickland Rd. Well, the third lap I had enough, cause this Ice-hole was wearing all black, walking on the shoulder instead of the CLEAN sidewalk. We didn't say anything the 1st and second laps she made past our car, but then I got to thinking - if she gets walloped by a car, guess who would have to deal with a dead ice-hole, and who is doing the report and diagram and would end up being at this dump until at least 4pm or so? You guessed it, me, not my recruit, just me. So as sad as that sounds,(9 years on the job makes you a little cynical, I know) I decided to have my recruit pull up to her, only this time she was not walking against traffic, but WITH it. So as my recruit is gingerly pulling up, I roll down the window, and just as I am about to have a nice word of safety with her, this ice-hole steps in front of out cruiser cause she lost her footing while walking on the SHOULDER instead of the spotless granite sidewalk, causing my recruit to freak out and swerve into the other lane. So now I freak out, tell him to pull along side her as she is doing her ice-hole power walk, dressed all in black not wearing ANY TYPE of reflective gear (why? cause it will never happen to her) and I start telling her that she must walk on the sidewalk as we almost waffled her (yes those were my words) and she stops looks at me and yells "WHAT??" as she takes her iPod out of her ears. Thats great, not only are you an ice-hole, but a completely stupid one at that. You wouldn't even hear that Whole Foods tractor trailer barreling down on you..... So I tell her that she needs to use the sidewalk and she tells me that the cracks of the sidewalk interfere with her power walk. Did I mention that I hate people? So i told her she can either have the cracks interfere with her power walk or she was getting a ticket and possibly some nice new shiny silver bracelets for Reckless Use of the Highway by a Pedestrian. She proceeded to then put her earphones back in her ears, get on the sidewalk, and walk away from us. Yes you are welcome ice-hole, as we just possibly saved your life.
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